“The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.”― Joanna Macy
DONATION-BASED COMMUNITY GRIEF RITUAL & POTLUCK
For the affinity group of Mothers.
As we approach the pinnacle of darkness and the onset of the winter season, we invite you to strengthen your connection to other mothers in the Missoula community and release that which is too painful to carry all alone.
Mothers carry a unique form of grief.
Our affinity-group grief rituals are created with the awareness that some forms of grief are uniquely experienced by people with shared identities.
Mothers can be biological parents, step-parents, co-parents, and foster parents. Mothers can be cisgendered, non-binary, or transgendered.
All mothers are welcome.
The grief that you bring to the ritual may be particular to your experience as a mother, and it does not have to be. We recognize you are a multidimensional being with other roles and indentities in your life.
Grief is everywhere. We are experiencing loss of village, connection to ancestors/elders, insects, birds, cultures and languages at an unprecedented and devastating pace. The lens by which you process this is undoubtedly shaped by your experience as a mother.
How can we be expected to process this all on our own?
American dominant culture teaches us to work through our pain and sorrow mostly by ourselves. It also expects us to “get over” things quickly. Our mental health field even considers prolonged grief after major loss to be a disorder.
Yet we have seen how harmful this conditioning is.
Our hearts harden in protection.
Our bodies get sick.
We numb out.
We stay busy.
We believe in a different way.
“This was a medicine I didn't know I was missing and needed.” — past grief ritual participant
It takes a tremendous amount of courage and imagination to approach our grief and to let it be seen by community. Yet when we do, something immensely healing can happen. Here are some of the main things we hear from people after our rituals:
“I feel less alone and more connected.”
“I feel lighter and more joyful.”
“I surprised myself!”
“This experience met a longing for more group ritual in my life.”
“The container and agreements made this feel like a safe place to be vulnerable and real.”
“This experience strengthened my ability to be with other people'‘s pain.”
We have tradition to strengthen our container.
The late Joanna Macy, bless her soul, created "The Work That Reconnects” and one of the rituals in this body of work is the "Truth Mandala" - a ritual that has been practiced across the world with thousands of participants.
In this time-tested ritual we hold elements of the Earth to help us move stuck emotion. All sharing is optional and only one person is shares their grief at a time.
This ritual emphasizes personal healing and the strengthening of community through a ritualized sharing circle. The Truth Altar is generally less cathartic and stimulating in terms of noise than the other styles of grief ritual we offer.
All of our rituals include prayer, singing, poetry, and drumming.
We are happy to talk to you if you are unsure if this is the right fit for you!
"I believe the future of our world depends greatly on the manner in which we handle our grief." —Sobonfu Somé, Dagaran Elder
Ritual Details:
Date and Time:
Sunday, Dec 13, 2026| 3-6pm with potluck to follow till 8ish
Location
109 Applehouse Ln, Missoula, MT 59802
More Details:
We ask that everyone brings an item to contribute to the potluck!
Upon reading your registration, we may check in with you to make sure this grief ritual is a good fit for your situation.
Generous donations allow us to offer these rituals to all people, regardless of ability to pay.
Donation Info:
Recommended Donation $30-$90 (cash or Venmo)
Any donation amount is appreciated and accepted!
Meet your Facilitators
Niki Leffingwell and JoJo Phoenix Frank
Our commitment to ritually tending our grief helps us to be this joyful!
JoJo Phoenix (in pink) is a prayerful and playful human living a life centered on connection, peace, and courage. They are a grief ritualist, the founder of Ground Swell dance, and a somatic intimacy coach within their business, Touch and Change.
After decades of living in fear and experiencing five acute years of chronic, unexpected loss, JoJo Phoenix began engaging in weekly grief rituals. In the spring of 2024, Spirit led them through a 90 day nature-based grief ritual. This experience fortified their faith in life, themself, and in the healing that’s possible when we grieve within a ritualized container.
Since then, JoJo Phoenix completed Entering Healing Ground: a five month grief tending training and has facilitated public grief rituals for the Missoula community and Montana Pride Camp while offering private grief rituals to individual clients.
JoJo Phoenix has trained 800 people in trauma-informed facilitation. Their lens on grief and their facilitation ethos are influenced by over a decade working closely with incarcerated people through their community organizing and employment at Yoga Behind Bars, The Post-Prison Education Project, and The Bail Project. And their approach to facilitating grief rituals are primarily influenced by Sobonfu and Malidoma Somé, Laurence Cole, Ahlay Blakely, Holly Truhlar, Francis Weller, and Joanna Macy.
Niki/Nik (in yellow) is a queer storyteller, life-long melancholic soul steeper, and mom of three who grew up on the shore of Lake Michigan and made Missoula, Montana home in 2016.
Niki began participating in grief land-based rituals overseen by their mentor and teacher Yasmin Suarez Shaddox (Soulskin Journeys). These rituals are based in Celctic mythology and ecological/initiatory practices from the Animas Institute and School of Lost Borders.
That experience sprouted a living, animate journey with grief, which is ongoing and includes drumming, trees, and lots of snot. Nik first assisted in a multi-day Soulskin retreat in 2023 and this past August, they had the privilege of co-facilitating their first grief ritual with their co-lifer JoJo Phoenix. Nik’s grief work, writing, and studies are heavily influenced by the work of Rosemerry Trommer, John O’Donohue, and Bishop Flunder of City of Refuge Church.
They are in a continual dance of soul-song and discovery with their many more-than-human friends- particularly those who occupy the region that once was glacial lake Missoula.