“The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.”― Joanna Macy
DONATION-BASED COMMUNITY GRIEF RITUAL & POTLUCK
In the style of Joanna Macy
As the days darken and the leaves fall, we invite you to strengthen your connection to Missoula community and release that which you can no longer carry alone.
Everybody has something to grieve!
Conditioning may have taught you that grieving is only necessary or appropriate after a personal loss.
Yet, our psyches and hearts register, even if subconsciously, major loss on a daily basis. We are experiencing loss of village, connection to ancestors/elders, insects, birds, cultures and languages at an unprecedented and devastating pace.
How can we be expected to process this all on our own?
American dominant culture teaches us to work through our pain and sorrow mostly by ourselves. It also expects us to “get over” things quickly. Our mental health field even considers prolonged grief after major loss to be a disorder.
Yet we have seen how harmful this conditioning is.
Our hearts harden in protection.
Our bodies get sick.
We numb out.
We stay busy.
We believe in a different way.
“This was a medicine I didn't know I was missing and needed.” — past grief ritual participant
It takes a tremendous amount of courage and imagination to approach our grief and to let it be seen by community. Yet when we do, something tremendously healing can happen. Here are some of the main things we hear from people after our rituals:
“I feel less alone and more connected.”
“I feel lighter and more joyful.”
“I surprised myself!”
“This experience met a longing for more group ritual in my life.”
“The container and agreements made this feel like a safe place to be vulnerable and real.”
“This experience strengthened my ability to be with other people'‘s pain.”
We have tradition to strengthen our container.
The late Joanna Macy, bless her soul, created "The Work That Reconnects” and one of the rituals in this body of work is the "Truth Mandala" - a ritual that has been practiced across the world, for thousands of participants, over the span of the last 33 years.
In this time-tested community ritual we utilize the support of elements of the Earth: a rock, a stick, leaves, and a ceramic bowl to help us move stuck emotions. Only one person is sharing their grief at a time, all have the opportunity to share, and all sharing is optional.
Compared with our more cathartic rituals, this ritual entails less deep processing of one’s personal grief. We tap into the healing power of non-fixing witnessing and the strengthening of community within a sharing circle with strong agreements. The Truth Altar is also less stimulating in terms of noise than the Dagara-style ritual.
We are happy to talk to you if you are unsure if this is the right fit for you!
"I believe the future of our world depends greatly on the manner in which we handle our grief." —Sobonfu Somé, Dagaran Elder
Ritual Details:
Date and Time:
Sunday, Nov 15, 2026| 3-6pm with potluck to follow till 8ish
Location
109 Applehouse Ln, Missoula, MT 59802
More Details:
We ask that everyone brings an item to contribute to the potluck!
Upon reading your registration, we may check in with you to make sure this grief ritual is a good fit for your situation.
Donations make this ritual possible and any donation amount is appreciated as it is important to us to make this space accessible to all.
Cost:
Recommended Donation $30-$90 (cash or Venmo)
Any donation amount is appreciated and accepted!
Meet your Facilitators
Niki Leffingwell and JoJo Phoenix Frank
Our grief practices help us to be this joyful!
JoJo Phoenix (in pink) is a prayerful and playful human living a life centered on connection, peace, and courage. They are a grief ritualist, the founder of Ground Swell dance, and a somatic intimacy coach within their business, Touch and Change.
After decades of living in fear and experiencing five acute years of chronic, unexpected loss, JoJo Phoenix began engaging in weekly grief rituals. In the spring of 2024, Spirit led them through a 90 day nature-based grief ritual. This experience fortified their faith in life, themself, and in the healing that’s possible when we grieve within a ritualized container.
Since then, JoJo Phoenix completed Entering Healing Ground: a five month grief tending training and has facilitated public grief rituals for the Missoula community and Montana Pride Camp while offering private grief rituals to individual clients.
JoJo Phoenix has trained 800 people in trauma-informed facilitation. Their lens on grief and their facilitation ethos are influenced by over a decade working closely with incarcerated people through their community organizing and employment at Yoga Behind Bars, The Post-Prison Education Project, and The Bail Project. And their approach to facilitating grief rituals are primarily influenced by Sobonfu and Malidoma Somé, Laurence Cole, Ahlay Blakely, Holly Truhlar, Francis Weller, and Joanna Macy.
Niki/Nik (in yellow) is a queer storyteller, life-long melancholic soul steeper, and mom of three who grew up on the shore of Lake Michigan and made Missoula, Montana home in 2016.
Niki attended their first women’s circle and grief ritual in 2018. The land-based rituals they participated in were overseen by their mentor and teacher Yasmin Suarez Shaddox (Soulskin Journeys) and are influenced by Celctic mythology and ecological/initiatory practices from the Animas Institute and School of Lost Borders.
That experience sprouted a living, animate journey with grief, which is ongoing and includes drumming, trees, and lots of snot. Nik first assisted in a multi-day Soulskin retreat in 2023 and this past August, they had the privilege of co-facilitating their first grief ritual with their co-lifer JoJo Phoenix. In addition, Nik continues to work and apprentice with Yasmin in bringing the living being that is Soulskin to this emerging soul-centered world. Nik’s grief work, writing, and studies are heavily influenced by the work of Rosemerry Trommer, John O’Donohue, and Bishop Flunder of City of Refuge Church.
They are in a continual dance of soul-song and discovery with their many more-than-human friends- particularly those who occupy the region that once was glacial lake Missoula.